Introduction
As a small shop that got its start selling handcrafted resin paddles, impact play is near and dear to our hearts. Whether it's a thuddy spanking paddle or a stingy flogger, we love them all, and we're here to guide you through the ins and outs of impact play.
What is Impact Play?
Impact play is a form of power play under the BDSM umbrella where a submissive (sub) receives pain via physical impact from the dominant (dom/domme). Some common examples include spanking, paddling, flogging, and caning.
|
Why do People Like Impact Play? Impact Play Tips for Beginners |
Why do People Like Impact Play?
The reasons why someone enjoys impact play vary individually. Besides the obvious reason that the sadist/dominant enjoys inflicting pain and the masochist/submissive enjoys receiving it, other reasons for liking impact play are the psychological desire for power exchange (taking or surrendering control), the physiological desire for adrenaline, and for some people, the experience of deriving pleasure from pain. Impact play can also take a submissive to what is referred to as "subspace," which is a euphoric, meditative, subliminal sort of state.
Impact Play Safety
Establishing Consent
First step: agree on a safe word before play. A common safe word practice is saying green (more), yellow (slow down), red (stop immediately). If the submissive is gagged, they should be able to communicate nonverbally in a way everyone involved understands. Communicate what you are and aren't ok with before, during, and after a scene. This goes for the dom too! Everyone is allowed to have boundaries and have them respected. If a potential play partner cannot or will not communicate with you clearly, they won’t be a good play partner.
Where to Hit
In terms of where on the body to hit during an impact play session, two BDSM safety rules are:
- Hit below the waist, (the exception is flogging under shoulders)
- Avoid joints, tendons, organs, and major arteries.
Bonus BDSM safety rule: always practice sober. This aids in consent and helps you avoid accidental injuries.
Impact Play Tips for Beginners
If you're an absolute beginner, start with open-palm spanking and using a paddle (or the back of a paddle hairbrush). Both will provide the ability to vary between light and intense sensory pain and give you an idea of what you like.
Warming Up
Start slowly and build up intensity. Not only is this good for safety, it allows a natural momentum to grow to a climactic sensory peak–a kinky crescendo, if you will.
How to Choose an Impact Toy
Materials matter when you're using something besides your hand for impact. You’ll want to know if your sub is looking for a more stingy or thuddy sensation (more on that below). Keep in mind the pain tolerance and experience level of everyone involved. Leather is always a great, durable choice. Vegan leather can be used as well, though it has less durability and more rigidity than the real thing. Wood is highly durable, eco-friendly, and cost-effective. Rubber, plastic, and metal are common, but can break skin more easily with rougher play, and should therefore be used with caution.
Stingy vs. Thuddy Impact Play: What’s the Difference?
We previously mentioned the importance of knowing whether a submissive is seeking more of a sting or a thud feeling from their impact play. You’ll hear this terminology thrown around a lot in the BDSM world. Thud generally correlates to the weight of a toy. Greater mass means applying greater force to swing, so while the speed of the frequency of vibrations is slower due to mass, they will travel farther due to the force applied. With a thuddy toy, the impact penetrates deeper. A stingy impact will be the opposite of this; the impact is made with a lightweight toy, resulting in an instant surface level sting. Thuddy toys will leave deeper bruises that take time to surface, but last longer after play; stingy toys will leave surface level welts that bloom a hot red immediately (your skin is the damper and the vibrations transfer as heat).
Types of Impact Toys
To buy:
| Type of Toy | Thud or Sting |
| Paddles | thud or sting (depending on weight) |
| Floggers | sting |
| Canes | sting |
| Rug beaters | sting |
| Whips | sting |
| Crops | sting |
| Dragon tongues and tails | sting |
DIY:
| Type of Toy | Thud or Sting |
| Lollipops | thud |
| Hairbrushes/hand mirrors (back side) | thud |
| Belts | sting |
| Rulers/yardsticks | sting |
| Wooden spoon | thud |
| Ping pong paddle | sting |
| Clipboard | sting |
Every Toy isn’t for Everyone
Everyone's preferences are different. Submissives can be tempted to say yes to everything in order to please their dom. Given the psychological dynamics at play, that’s understandable, but dishonesty only ultimately disservices both the sub and dom. Trust is key to every BDSM dynamic, and dishonesty breaks that trust. There's nothing wrong with being a submissive (or dominant) who likes hand spanking but not flogging. And there's no shame in being into heavy impact play either! Wherever you fall on the spectrum is fine. The important part is that everything is consensual, honest, and respectful of boundaries.
Aftercare for Impact Play
Sub drop is normal, aftercare is essential. Immediately after playing, inspect and assess the damage. Using something cooling like aloe or an ice pack can be good to soothe the inflammation. You'll want to spend some time together out of scene doing what feels good and relaxing. Take a bath, cuddle, hydrate, eat, watch some TV--whatever. Just spend some time together unwinding and being nice to each other and yourselves.
A little bit later when your brain is regulated and you're back to your normal mental and emotional state, make a point to discuss what worked and what didn't in your last play session with your partner. You should both be able to talk about what you enjoy, what you want more of and what you want less, and do so without any conflict or defensiveness before playing again. This will establish trust before reengaging, and is really something that should happen even after vanilla sex to establish and maintain consent.
Conclusion
Impact play can be practiced in a fun, risk-aware way as long as a safe environment is provided. There are so many impact toys to choose from, which makes it exciting to explore! Honesty, consent, and trust will go a long way in facilitating a healthy bond between you and your play partner. Trust your gut, be honest about your feelings, and have fun.
****
Looking for BDSM toys? Check out our selection of rope, clamps, cuffs, and more.