Originating in Japan as a way to bind prisoners, the Japanese rope technique known as shibari (originally Kinbaku) has developed as an artistic form of bondage beloved by many. That said, the jargon, techniques, and safety rules used in shibari can seem like overwhelming hurdles to clear when you’re just starting out! In this ultimate shibari beginners guide, we’re walking you through it all: from what happens in a shibari session to how you can learn to tie all those beautiful shibari knots.
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5 Initial Considerations Before You Try Shibari Must-Know Shibari Rope Safety Tips |
5 Initial Considerations Before You Try Shibari
Before trying shibari, here are some important things to understand and consider:
Consent and communication
Establish clear communication and consent with your partner(s) regarding boundaries, comfort levels, and any physical or emotional limitations. Where does your partner feel comfortable beginning? Does your partner feel comfortable with being fully restrained? Will there be play involved and, if so, to what degree? Are there any injuries that need to be communicated? Does your partner prefer the burn of a rougher rope or do they just want the sensation of being bound? What’s the safe word? Answers to all of these questions (and then some) should be asked before a session.
Safety
Knowing proper rope safety is essential. Rules of thumb for shibari include keeping room for two fingers under any wrapped body part and avoiding joints and tendons (a general safety rule for all BDSM). Avoid restricting circulation, and have safety shears on hand to quickly cut your partner free if and when you need to.
Practice, practice, practice
Shibari is a skill that requires practice and patience to master; it’s not meant to be mastered in an hour. Start with the fundamental knots and ties (more on these later) and gradually progress as you gain more experience and confidence. Focus on learning and having fun instead of getting it perfect on the first try.
Trust and intimacy
Building trust and fostering intimacy with your partner(s) is crucial for a fulfilling shibari experience. Take the time to connect emotionally and create a safe and supportive environment.
Aftercare
After any BDSM scene, aftercare is essential! Talk to your partner about what this looks like for the both of you. Common aftercare includes cuddling, massage, a hot bath, and verbal reassurance. You should also talk about what you each did and did not enjoy in-scene so you can improve your future sessions together.
Must-Know Shibari Rope Safety Tips
Start slow
Begin with simple ties and gradually progress to more complex ones as you gain experience and confidence.
Communicate
Establish clear communication with your partner(s) before, during, and after the session to ensure comfort and consent.
Check for circulation
Regularly check the extremities of the person being tied for any numbness, tingling, or discoloration. All of these are indications of restricted circulation and are a sign you need to ease up and loosen your ties.
Avoid tying directly over joints
To prevent nerve compression and potential injury, avoid tying directly over joints such as wrists, elbows, and knees.
Be mindful of pressure points
Avoid placing excessive pressure on sensitive areas such as nerves, veins, or organs to prevent injury.
Have safety shears on hand
Keep safety shears nearby to quickly and safely cut your rope in case of emergency or discomfort.
Use appropriate rope
The right rope will depend on personal preferences and use. Rope composition ranges from synthetic to organic anywhere from very rough to silky soft. Choose a non-abrasive, softer rope like satin or bamboo silk if you want to minimize the risk of rope burn, skin irritation, and marks that linger after sessions. Choose cotton rope if you’re looking for something affordable, low maintenance, and easy to clean. Choose a rougher rope like jute if you’re practicing suspension bondage, or if you’re seeking an enhanced grip for locking knots or better breathability.
Care for your rope
Rope needs love too! Check your rope for fraying and cut/discard very damaged and frayed portions. You may need to occasionally clean your rope, especially if it’s exposed to bodily fluids during play. To clean, wash with lukewarm water and a mild detergent, then lay the rope flat to air dry. Some organic rope like jute will also need to be conditioned with oil to soften the fibers and promote flexibility.
Stay sober
This is another BDSM basic that should go without saying, but we’re going to say it anyway. Practice shibari while you’re sober to maintain clear judgment, coordination, and sensitivity in order to reduce the risk of accidents or mistakes.
Fundamental Shibari Knots and Ties
Single column tie
This is the most basic knot for shibari. Used to secure a single point on the body, such as a wrist or ankle, by wrapping the rope around it and creating a secure knot.
Double column tie
Similar to the single column tie, but used to secure two points on the body, such as wrists or ankles, together.
Square knot (also known as reef knot)
Used to connect two ropes securely, often at the beginning or end of a tie.
Half hitch
A simple knot used to start or finish ties, or to add additional support to other knots.
Lark's head (also known as cow hitch)
Used to attach the rope to a point on the body or to another rope, creating a secure attachment.
Friction knots (such as the Munter hitch or clove hitch)
Used to create adjustable or temporary ties, or to add tension to a tie without needing additional hardware.
These knots serve as building blocks for more elaborate shibari ties and patterns, allowing practitioners to create beautiful and intricate designs while ensuring the safety and comfort of their partners.
Conclusion
The art of shibari is a beautiful and creative form of kink with a rich history. We hope that by providing you with the basics, you feel empowered to embark on your journey to explore it!
Got questions? Anything we missed? Let us know in the comments or email us at info@cutecruelty.com.